Loss & Grief

Grief in children and teens doesn't always look like a sad face. Because their brains are still developing, they often process loss in "puddles"—jumping in and out of deep intense grief and then immediately wanting to play or hang out with friends 💔

​🔍 What to Look For: Children

🤝Regression: (e.g., bedwetting, clinginess).

🤒​Physical Aches: Stomach aches or headaches.

🤯​Big "Mood Storms": Sudden, intense emotional shifts.

⚱️​Play Re-enactment: Using toys or drawings to process the death or funeral.

In Teens (Ages 12+)

🙈​Withdrawal: Pulling away from the family or "hiding" in their room more than usual.

❌️​Risk-Taking: Engaging in reckless behavior as a way to numb the pain or feel "in control."

🎓​Academic Shifts: A sudden drop in grades or a complete loss of interest in hobbies and sports.

🤔​Existential Questions: Deeply questioning the meaning of life, faith, or the future.

​How to Support Them

🤝​Validate & Normalise:

All feelings are okay. Reassure them there is no "right" way to grieve. Validate that "puddle jumping"—crying one minute and playing the next—is how their brain protects them from being overwhelmed.

🎁​Create a Happy Memory Box:

This is a tangible, healing activity. Let them decorate a box and fill it with safe-to-touch items: photos, a drawing of a special time, or an object that reminds them of happy moments. It turns abstract memories into something they can hold.

🗣​Be Explicitly Clear:

Avoid euphemisms like "we lost them" or "went to sleep" (which can create fear of losing things or bedtime). Use age-appropriate honesty: "Their body stopped working, and the doctors couldn't fix it."

⏳️​Focus on Predictability:

Maintain routines where possible. Consistent mealtimes and pick-ups create the essential safety anchors needed when their internal world feels shattered.

✨️My Worry-to-Wonder Workbook can help younger ones (4-10) with big feelings, using sensory, play and reflection ( link in bio). 🕊️✨